lost soulz

"I weigh my odds think out 14 different possible paths, 98 possible outcomes, yet all the same fact, this world isn't now nor ever will be worth a struggle just to die." ~Paul Neal facebook intro September 17, 2009

As lost souls we scour every crack and crevice of the planet searching high and low through different cultures, religions, and ideologies for some form of purpose or deeper meaning for ourselves. As lost souls, purposeless and wondering, we look for a reason to live, a reason for the struggle, and purpose in the pain. As lost souls we deal with day to day bullshit of pointless struggles and unnecessary strains for life. Lost souls, we are forever lost in a sea of pain, we are forever searching for what may or may not be tangible. Thinking hard is anything in life worth all this effort? Why try so hard to look for a reason to put up with other people's controlling bullshit.

What makes up for the pain?

What makes up for the pain? Who's to blame for the the perfectly healthy baby that stopped breathing out of the blue? Who is accountable for the man that worked everyday of his life to die in poverty while the young arise gets rich for never lifting a finger. Who's to blame for the child that study's everyday to try and make a better life and make it somewhere only to fail and get swept in the street life so opposite of what we see in movies? Where is the equivalence in that? Who do we blame for the the truly religious man who made an honest living his entire life and never got a damn thing in life next to the guy that had everything fall in his lap sense the day he was born? Was the baby born to die? Was the man destined to die poor no matter how hard he tried? What about the kid who gave his all and still had to bang in the streets? Who gets the blame for the tragedies we face in life? I it just a game of random Russian runlet with our lives at the forefront? We all want a chance to shine but whats the point when so much seems predetermined for us? When we fight to die while others live uncontested and die happy and at peace why the fuck should we continue to kill ourselves over something that seems so trivial? I guess everyone wants to be happy even if its truly not for everyone.

Out of sight, out of mind....

The old saying "Out of sight out of mind." Amazing how 90% of the world cling to this saying like an imaginary security blanket. Whether we know it or not, whether we think about it there are still billions of other people living and breathing. The move independent of us in every way. You can close your eyes at 12 but the night will still go on. You can go to prison, in solitary confinement, never see light for 7 years, but your kids will grow, the wind will blow, and life will continue on without you without so much as a second thought to your existence. When a war rages even if its thousands of miles away and your countries victory is assured, and you get it into you head that's not there, its not happening, it is, whether your eyes are open to it or not. I is never out of mind cause it still affects you. Violence, blood, and death in another part of your country. You think nothing of you. You think of nothing other then not going there. "It doesn't affect me so fuck it, out of sight out of mind." But one day it spills over in all directions. Everyone you know and love is now caught in it, but it hasn't reached you yet so like 65% of most people you run as far as you can from everything and wait for it to blow over and as usual it does. When you return most of the people you know are gone. You grieve, rebuild, and move on. Yet had you have done something with the masses from the start those losses could have been saved. Out of sight is only what it says, unseeable, but still there. The world turns whether your there or not so why not do your best to direct where it turns. Why not step up and take control, who's to stop your voice here? The world is a game; learn the rules and manipulate the game or stay in the shadows and play solo till you die.... your choice...